


Cheese on Poptart

by leosmulletisugly



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-17 14:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10595799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leosmulletisugly/pseuds/leosmulletisugly
Summary: Sinning it up in the Ensemble stars tag once again, because I can't make video shitposts during my break.





	1. Culinary Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> This is a multi-chapter because I hate myself

  
Tori was laying down on his big gremlin bed and he was really fricken bored.  
  
"Im so fricken bored."  
He whined.  
  
He started to roll around in his bed angryly, throwing a tantrum for no real reason. Thay was until he had a horrible yet brilliant idea.  
  
"Cheese on Poptart."  
  
Tori loved poptarts, HE REALLY LOVED POPTARTS. He loved them so much that before he was born, he dyed his hair in the womb as the same color as the inside of a regular strawberry poptart.  
  
"SLLLLLAAAAVVVVVEEEE"  
Tori yelled at the top of his lungs, he screeched so loudly that you could hear it all the way from Happy Elements jail.  
  
When baldmugi heard the noise he was super spoop'd, and frightenly held out a cross to ward off the evil sprirt he heard.  
  
Seconds after Yuzuru waddled into the doorway in Tori's big ass room.  
  
"Me want poptart."  
Tori said, the fool he couldn't even blurt out a proper sentance.  
  
Yuzuru was about to leave before he heard Tori whisper.  
  
"....With cheese on the top..."  
  
He felt shivers, Who the hell would ever want a poptart with cheese? Well, apperently Tori did.  And weither he liked it or not, he was going to make it.  
  
He shoved the poptarts into the toaster with the cheese ontop of it.  
  
This felt so wrong on so many levels.  
  
As he waited Tori's demonic words buzzed in his head over and over again. .  
  
He could not believe this.  
  
Hopefuly, he thought, this would be the last time he would be making this. And oh, how wrong he was.  
  
When the helltarts were finally ready he took them out with a golden spatual, because everything inside Tori's house was gold. He gently placed it on the golden plate. It looked nice and crisp.  
  
"Disgusting."  
Yuzuru thought,  
"Absolutely Disgusting."  
  
He waddled back into Tori's room and served his helltarts.  
  
Tori made a hellish noise, which Yuzuru could only assume was one of joy because he got his helltarts.  
  
"Ah, I only eat REAL gourmet food!!"  
Tori had squeaked out in excitement.  
  
He took a bite, Yuzuru was expecting Tori to make a bitter face at the horrible food combination. But his face was one filled with joy.  
  
"That God damn gremlin."  
He thought to himself.  
  
He was definately going to be forced to make these helltarts again and he hated it.  
  
The very next day Tori went into his classroom and told every single one of his classmates about his helltarts.  
  



	2. The Tea Club Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eichi serves the tea club cheese on poptart, what happens next will have you shook

Ever since Tori had introduced his so called, "culinary masterpiece" to the rest of fine. Eichi and Wataru were absolutely ecstatic about Tori's new food idea. Out of the two Eichi had liked it the most, He liked it so much that we wanted to treat his precious tea club members to cheese on poptarts during their next club meeting.

.

Once again, Yuzuru was forced with the task of making the "helltarts". This time instead of using strawberry poptarts like he did with Tori's, Eichi demanded that he'd use blueberry instead. No matter the flavor the poptarts would still be disgusting little culinary abominations. Eichi had also suggested he'd melt and spread the cheese on the poptarts because he liked to be extra like that.

Yuzuru looked out the kitchen's window gazing at the two unsuspecting boys. The three were probably chatting about school and unit related activities while sipping tea in between, completely unaware of what was being prepared in the kitchen for them to consume. He felt bad, why would Eichi want to subject them to these helltarts. Hadn't they gone through enough as it? Being in the club with Eichi and all. He was about to rant to himself but his thoughts were interrupted by the horrid scent of both cooked blueberry poptarts and melted all american cheese.

It was ready.

Yuzuru gently placed the poptarrts onto the plates, then came the hard part. He got a ladle filled to the brim with all american cheese and poured it all over the poptatrts. He felt like gagging at the site of perfectly good poptarts being ruined by just cheese alone. Yuzuru placed the plates on a dinning cart and rolled it towards the chattering club. The plates were covered by silver domes at both hid the stench and the sorry excuse for a meal. He served the members gently placing each individual plate on the table. Everything seemed fine. Yuzuru lifted the silver domes off of the plates revealing the hell tarts. Yuzuru watched as Hajime's face slowly turned from a cheerful and happy one into one of true fear and disgust. Yuzuru then rolled away with the cart shamefully.

.

The scent was absolutely foul, he couldn't stand it at all. Surely this was some kind of prank? There was no way Eichi actually expected him to actually eat...whatever it was served before him. He couldn't tell exactly what it was due to it being covered with thick layers of cheese. Hajime turned to Ritsu to ask about his opinion on the "meal" but his was completely gone already. 

"Thanks for the meal."  
Ritsu burped out, cheese stains were visible all over ravenett's lips.

Hajime's eye widen in shock and fear. He gulped and looked down at his own plate, well if his upperclassmen could eat it he could too. He lifted his knife and fork and cut a small square segment out of it. He lifted the square piece to his lips, the stench of cheese overwhelmed him but he took a bite anyways. It wasn't as bad as he had originally thought but it wasn't the best thing he's ever eaten. He continued eating the cheese covered mystery food to please Eichi.

.

Ritsu sloppily whipped off the cheese stains from his lips. He hated it, this was the worst thing he's ever eaten in his life. He felt like he could throw up any minute now, he didn't think this mystery cheese food would taste that bad but he was wrong. He eaten it to please Eichi but now he regretted being born. Ritsu did look at the bright side, he could trick Rei into eating this the next time he was home. He glance over at Hajime, he was slowly eating his meal. It looked like he was savoring his but Ritsu knew how bad it was so there was no way that was the case.

"Thoughts?"  
Eichi asked the two his usual smug smile on his face.

"I thought it was okay-"

"It's gross."

Eichi looked visibly offended at Ritsu's comment.

"Well. I'm glad at least one of you enjoyed it."

He glared at Ritsu and then paused for a bit.

"I was thinking on having this being a food option in school's cafeteria."

"Don't."

"Oh, why not?"

"If you're really want to serve...whatever these 'things' are you should serve them to students who cause trouble."

Eichi rose from his chair and went into the kitchen, he then returned with a whole plate stacked with blueberry cheese poptarts.He dumped the plate onto Ritsu's side of the table.

"What the hell."

"I'm just following your advice, I'm seving these 'things' to students who cause trouble." Eichi smiled again as he shoved the mountain of cheese poptarts more towards Ritsu's direction. As a rebellious act against Eichi, Ritsu threw the entire plate of poptarts in Eichi's face. Ritsu was later suspended and expelled from yumenosaki that same week.

**Author's Note:**

> I almost published this with just the word spagetti because I copyed the wrong thing


End file.
